By Far My Scarriest Mom Moment

Bo was hit by a car today. He's ok, but I'm a wreck. . .

We had a fun morning at the Athletic Club, the kids played in the play center for an hour while I worked out and then I took Bo & Sam swimming while Max stayed in the play center a bit longer. It was Sam's first time to go swimming and we were all super excited, especially Sam.

With floaties on his back, he jumped right in. Didn't think twice. He was fearless. He even went under a few times after jumping in and didn't freak out. The boys had a blast, giggling, blowing bubbles, splashing, jumping in and onto me . . . it was great.

Afterwards, we grabbed Max and went upstairs for a snack before heading home.

By this point Bo & Sam were a little out of control, laughing, running around, and most certainly not listening to me. I was churning inside. I can not stand it when they misbehave in public. What do you do? You can't yell at them or spank them or send them to their rooms. Ugh, I hate it! Absolutely CAN NOT stand it. I tried making them both sit in time-out but that didn't work and threats of later punishments didn't work either so needless to say I cleaned up our (ahem, Sam's ) mess as fast as I could and defeated and frustrated, got the hell out of there.

Still ultra wound up, the boys took off running outside as soon as we left the building. I tried to get them to stop but nothing I said even phased them and with Max in my arms, I could not run fast enough to catch up. (Again, cue churning stomach.) Bo was out in front, Sam about 15 yards behind and Max & I probably another 10 yards behind him. We were all on the sidewalk and then the next thing I heard was screeching tires and a woman yelling. I froze and then with diaper bag and gym bags flailing and Max getting tossed around on the opposite hip, I ran. Pure panic. I had no idea what I was going to find. I could not see anything over the row of cars between us and all I could picture was Bo laying on the ground in front of the car all CSI like but all the while still trying desperately to hold on to Max and keep my eye on Sam.

Then out from behind the cars ran a very pregnant woman holding Bo screaming "HELLO?!, HELLO?!" She was carrying him sideways, his arm around her neck, one shoe missing and absolute fear in his eyes. At that point I plopped Max down on the sidewalk with my bags and ran to meet her. She was shaking and crying and apologising. Bo was crying. And I was crying but trying to stay calm for Bo. I just started spewing out questions while cradling him and examining him once over for cuts, scrapes, or bruises.
"Did you actually hit him?" . . yes.
"Did he fall down?" . . . yes but he popped right back up. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
"Where did you hit him?" . . .but I kept getting interrupted by the other passenger in the car who for some reason kept offering the kids donuts. WTF? No, we don't want donuts!

This along with the driver wanting to call 911 continued for quite some time (no real sense of time but probably 10 minutes or so) until we all came to the conclusion that despite a scraped elbow and knee, a bruised hip, and a bit of shock, he seemed to be ok.

But here's where my internal struggle deepens (as if not being able to control my kids enough to have one not get hit by a car isn't personal torture in itself, it gets worse). Because I still was trying to make sure Sam hadn't run off and Max wasn't about to crawl off the curb, I couldn't completely focus on Bo. It breaks my heart just thinking about it. I wanted to just sit there and hug him and console him. He did not want me to put him down but we still had to cross the parking lot to get to our car. I could not carry him and Max and our bags and hold Sam's hand (who by the way seemed absolutely clueless that anything was wrong) all at the same time. I honestly did not know what to do other than have Bo walk to the car. Then, as my heart had nothing left to crumble, out ran 2 staff members from the gym (late but still appreciated). I handed Max to the guy and Sam to the girl. Finally I could give Bo what he really needed.

Once we all got back into the car, I broke down and so did Bo. We just sat there in the parking lot and cried. I could not help but think about how badly this could have gone and how quickly things happen. It could very well have killed him. What if she had her head turned and never saw him or was texting or messing with the radio or who knows what, even reaching for a damn donut, but she wasn't and for that I am forever grateful but the thought of the former mixed with the fear I felt today along with the frustrations of not being able to control my kids is something that I feel entirely responsible for and am having a hard time shaking.

As for Bo, all he has said about it (in the sweetest of sweet voices) is, "Mama, I didn't hear that car."

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Update: I took Bo in to the ER to get checked out just to make sure there wasn't anything internal going on that I was unaware of. After a urine analysis to make sure his kidneys were ok and a body check, we were released with some Motrin and ice packs. Looks like he's going to have a sore hip but be just fine.