You're Fired!

I just read one of my friends' blogs (http://flapyap.blogspot.com) and really got to thinking. What if I had a boss? A mommy boss. A boss for my full time child wrangling, house scrubbing, bill paying, grocery shopping, diaper applying, laundry sorting, meal planning, question answering, sleep training, and household harmonizing.

Would I do things differently? Would there be less crap that goes undone? Would the trash get taken out before it overflows to the point you can't physically slide it out of the can without it ripping and tearing and busting all over the floor? Would I not walk past the same alphabet magnet on the floor for 2 days without picking it up? Would I really be sitting here blogging with my elbow resting on a big ass pile of unopened mail, magazines and other random papers that need to be filed thinking about my stomach rolling over the top of my pants and wondering why the damn dryer won't stop buzzing at me?

Or would I have everything alphabetized in color coded files, the laundry folded and put away, and a self-help book in my hand while diligently doing sit-ups? I don't know. But what I do know is there is ALWAYS something that needs to be done around here and ALWAYS something I'd rather be doing. I have no problem watching Project Runway or an episode of The Office after the kids go to bed but can never quite find the time to scrub the stove.

Hmmmm . . .Interesting . . .

So one might conclude that I am lazy or just don't care, but I think the real problem lies not with me, but rather the job at hand. Think about it. Every other job I have had as an adult, which granted has not been many, has been one in a position of authority. And I kicked ass! I really did. And yes, if you are wondering what that sound is, don't worry, it is just my own horn.

toot toot!

So you see, the problem is definitely NOT me. Not me at all. The problem is my employees. They are just too damn young. If anyone should be fired, it is them.

Now, if only I could get a raise . . .