To Know Or Not To Know, That Is The Question

Tomorrow is our big 20 week (or 22 weeks in my case) ultrasound and we keep going back and forth on whether or not we want to find out the sex. In the beginning I was all about definitely finding out, then went through a no-I-don't phase and now am in an hour by hour emotional battle of yes-I-do, no-I-don't with the no-I-don't pulling ahead by a hair right this minute.

There are so many pros and cons of each that I just can't decide. I loved every minute of not knowing with Bo. The delivery was all the more exciting (as if pushing a baby out of your cooter isn't exciting enough) because of the surprise at the end. Sure, the yellow and green onesies and gender neutral nursery got old but all of that was quickly rectified with one trip to Fred Meyer and the onslaught of grandparent spoiling which quickly followed. Besides, redheads look horrible in yellow and pale green so all of that original unisex garb got tossed anyway. But that's neither here nor there. My point is that there are so few surprises left in life so why spoil one that still can be. Yes, I know, it would still be a surprise so to speak if we find out tomorrow but there's something to be said for the Christmas gift let down. Peaking at your gifts in your mom's closet in November is never as much fun as ripping open the package in your pj's Christmas morning. The thrill and excitement is so much better. Damn teddy bear piggy bank.

BUT - it was fun finding out with Sam, too. The ability to plan and prepare was great. Not that you can't prepare without knowing the sex, but it gave me time to adjust to the idea of being totally outnumbered in our house and saved me from many countless hours of perusing both the baby name book for another pointless girl name and the girlie pages of Pottery Barn Kids Catalog searching for the perfect quilt and bumper set. We knew we were having a boy and everything was easy. We had what we needed and we were ready. And thanks to my super speedy birthing genes, the birth was still exciting to say the least, just in a different sort of way. This time it was, "what will he look like" and "will he have my ugly feet", and "oh my God he's coming NOW", but definitely still a thrill.

So with this one I could go either way. Part of me wants to find out so I can have time to deal with the fact that we may never have a girl or give me months to pick out the perfect shade of pink for her walls. Part of me wants to endure the anticipation and challenge of waiting just because I always like a good challenge and why not? He or she is what heshe is and we will love this baby unconditionally regardless of (in Bo terms) peanuts or no peanuts.

So folks, looks like it's going to be a game time decision for tomorrow at 11:00 . . .