It's Happening Again

19 months, 21 days. That’s it. That’s all you got? Really? COME ON! I am so not ready for this. So incredibly, whole heartedly, emotionally not ready for this. Totally not cool dude. Not cool. You are supposed to be nice to me. You are the baby. My easy to put to bed baby. My super stubborn strong willed easy to put to bed baby. . .at least you were until yesterday.

Why? Why? WHY????? Why must you do this to me? Do you enjoy torturing me or do you just love me so much that you have to be with me at all times? Either way, I’d prefer you to just be a 19 moth old boy that doesn’t crawl out of his crib.
But instead you have forced me to put my game face on. Oh yeah. You are not my first escape artist mister. Your older two brothers were no joke and I am no rookie. So Mr. Maxy. "Bring it", I say. Because just as you think you can get a leg up, I will build higher and higher. Don’t under estimate the power of duct tape. However, I would be more than willing to call a truce, turn your crib back around, slide it out of the corner and move the dresser away from the side if you will agree to stay the F in there. It’s up to you.

Miracles Do Happen!

Last night all 3 boys slept through the night. It was the first time ever and absolutely amazing! Absolutely A-MAZ-ING!!

Down in the big D . . .Delta that is

Like every year, we, along with every other Alaskan, ventured out for a Memorial Day camping trip. For Alaskans, Memorial Day is to camping like Opening Day is to moose hunting. It marks the start of a season and the beginning of months of endless planning, packing and sleeplessness.
For us, it marks the first of many "great" ideas that start as fun days full of frisbee, fishing, and water guns but quickly turn in to nights of major frustrations, fits and bazerko kids bouncing off the walls. Seriously, they just snap. Last year it was Bo; this year it was Sam. The whole sleeping thing gets us every time. But unlike last year, we actually prevailed and eventually got all 3 to sleep a little after midnight.

They boys had a great time but needless to say, there was not a Night 2 and it will probably be awhile before there is.

I Finally Did It!

I finally took Sam's bottle away from him on Friday. (can I get a whoop whoop!) I know, I know, you are supposed to do it when they are 1 instead of almost 2, but hey, I think I have already established the fact that I am not the best baby book instruction follower. Besides, I have always had the philosophy of not pushing things too hard.

Like with potty training for example. I was not the mom who sequestered herself at home for weeks on end with a naked child, putting him on the potty every hour on the hour to undoubtedly strive for bragging rights that he was out of diapers by the age of 2. Nope. I figured that when Bo was ready and interested, we would attack it then, but not any sooner. And at 3.5, he was, and we did. I knew he would not be a 10 year old in diapers, just like I know that Sam will not be a third grader riding his bike to school with a bottle of milk sticking out of his Spiderman backpack. It just won't happen.

And so, a year late, Sam is now bottle free and hating every minute of it.

We have gone from super easy nap times and bed times to screaming fits and throwing things out of the crib. Ever since Sam was about 1, we plopped him in his crib with a bottle (again, not the best rule follower) and he would fall asleep. It was great. Now don't get me wrong, this was not done out of laziness but out of survival. Bo was still such a high maintenance child at that point, that we just did what we could with Sam in order to deal with Bo. Sure, looking back on things, I would probably handle it differently, but at the time it's what made sense.

Which brings us back to today. A wonderfully happy and hilarious sweet-destroyer who will drink anything out of a cup, sippy, thermos, box or can; just not milk. In the 3 days he's been bottle free, the milk consumption in our house has plummeted drastically. On any given day he would probably drink at least 16-20 ounces of milk and is now down to about 0.2. He just won't do it. I don't get it, but whatever. It is what it is and in the wise words of my mom, "this too shall pass."

And in semi-unrelated news . . .coincidentally enough, ever since I put the 'do not enter' sign on Sam's door, he has slept through the night. Again, I don't get it, probably never will get it, but I'm lovin it and will take it! Who knows, maybe I'm on to something. Maybe all I need to do is put a 'milk in cups only' sign on the refrigerator door and all my problems will go away. Now wouldn't that be nice?!

Sleep Update

Ok, so it's been a couple of weeks since we started sleep bootcamp and we have definitely made some good progress with Max but I am embarrassed to admit I caved, and cave badly, with Sam.

I don't know what it is but I give in or make excuses or give him milk in my sleep without knowing it, or convince myself he NEEDS me, or that if I just give him a bottle I can go back to sleep, or any other number or things that are counter productive to getting him to sleep through the night. But I'll talk more about that later.

I want to talk about Max right now. Mr. Maxy. Oh he is doing so well. And despite my caving the first night after listening to him scream for 1 hour and 15 minutes, I refocused and have had my game face on ever since. Game face, I tell ya. Game Face!

So this is how it went down:

First 3 nights he fell asleep fine around 6:45pm (minor fussing) on his own but woke up 45 minutes later screaming. Night 1: I caved after 1 hr 15 min and gave him a bottle. Night 2: screamed 2 hr 5 min. Night 3: screamed 1 hr 15 min (hoarse from the night before. So sad!) Night 4: screamed 42 min. Night 5: slept through that first waking. Yippeee!!!! . . .PROGRESS.

As for the rest of the night, he usually wakes up between 1am and 2am, gobbles 7-8oz of formula and then sleeps until anywhere between 6:30am and 8:00am.

So, I am proud to say, we have met our first goal (see: patting self on back) of putting him down awake and only feeding him once during the night. Every once in awhile if he goes to bed super early, there is a second feeding around 5:30am because the first feeding is closer to midnight, but in general we are down to one.

My next goal is to cut out all middle of the night feedings in about another month or so. I'm just reluctant to do it now because the poor boy does not eat any solid food. He hates it. So the extra calories at night seem needed for now. I will be sure to update more when the next phase commences.

Side Note: And just as I started to feel reassured by my parenting
skills and thinking I'm doing a good job, I talked to a mom on Sunday who
sleep trained her daughter at 7 wks. Yes, 7 wks. Stopped
all night feedings cold turkey. After a week of crying, Lucy now, at 6 months, sleeps 12 hours straight, and I am once again left believing
that I am too soft and not cut out for this. Damn over achievers!!

Ok, back to Sam . . .

I lasted all of about 3 nights with Sam. We did the whole, no milk in bed thing, only gave him water in his bottle in the middle of the night and it just made him so beyond pissed off that I gave in which is why as of tonight, this sign is now on his door. . .

I have GOT to do it. My new strategy is the same as with Max. Do not enter the room, let him scream, he will eventually fall asleep, unless of course he injures himself first from thrashing violently in his crib as he has known to do, but that is neither here nor there. He needs to learn how to sleep and I need to learn how to let him.

Game face back on!! Wish me luck.

Bound & Determined to Sleep

Out of pure exhaustion and desperation, I have turned to the experts. Quite frankly I'm embarrassed and unsure why it has taken me four years, three kids and hundreds of sleepless nights to do so, but folks, this is it. This is the start of my journey to recapture my sleep, my feeling of control and most importantly, my sanity.

And it is all starting with this . . . 457 pages of how to teach you child to sleep, and hopefully 457 pages of pure genius. It worked wonders for my sister's kids so I am hoping it will do the same for us. I will let you know how it goes. Tonight is Night #1.

Catching Up (it's a longy)

1. TREASURE - We had our first ever garage sale on Saturday and despite all the crap we still have left, we managed to make over $700. Not too shabby. But it still amazes me the things that sold vs the things that didn't:

Cool snow sled - no, 4 opened cartons of antifreeze - yes

Plastic flower pots - no, ancient dinosaur laptop from college - yes

Columbia parka with removable fleece lining - no, Army issue arctic parka with fake fur - yes

Picture frames and vases - no, old man grabber thing - yes

and the list goes on and on. We even had 2 people offer to buy Chena (weird) and a few people who came by for specific items which when they found out we didn't have any, turned around and left: guns, gardening tools, fishing poles, and big kid toys.

All in all an odd day but I'm just glad that woman from Barrow was able to stock up on so many baby socks.


2. FAMILY - Grandma & Uncle John left this morning. We had a great visit with them but like all family visits, it flew by way too fast.

Every morning they were here, Bo would run downstairs to get Grandma as soon as he woke up. It was super cute until this morning when he popped out of bed to do the same and I had to intervene and tell him that Grandma wasn't here. She left for the airport before he got up. His body slumped. He was crushed. But after we read the note she left about 4 times and he got to talk to her on the phone, he perked right back up. He sure loves his Grandma.

3. SLEEP - We are all still ultra sleep deprived in this house and am running out of ideas for Bo. Sam on the other hand just needs to be broken of milk in the middle of the night (AGAIN) which can be done; I've just been too tired and too paranoid about waking Bo up to even deal with it but tonight is the night. I hereby proclaim this the beginning of sleep (re)training take 3. Ugh, I am so not looking forward to it but it has to be done.

Bo is a whole different story. The Melatonin is making a huge difference in getting him to settle down and fall asleep (takes 20-40 minutes now instead of the 2-3 hours it was) but we are still having terrible problems with night wakings and night terrors. On any given night, Bo is up 2-5 times; each time leaving his room and crying in either the kitchen or living room all while staring at our bedroom door. Then the nights he has a night terror, everything is exaggerated and prolonged with it taking anywhere from 1-2 hours to get him calmed down enough to fall back asleep.

A few nights ago I was at wits end and decided that if neither boy was going to sleep then they could cry all night together. I dragged Bo's bed in to Sam's room and figured, hell, misery loves company, right? Wrong! Misery apparently just loves more misery when doubled and then spills over causing extreme misery on the parents. Let's just say it sucked, was a horrible HORRIBLE idea, totally back fired and I will never do it again. Damn it!

However, after last night's horrendously freaky night terror, Bo is now scared of his own room which, after the Sam room fiasco, leaves only our room to try. (Not cool, but we will do anything at this point) And so, with his mattress on our floor wedged between my night stand and Wes' dresser (where I am sure to trip over it and possibly break my little toe while listening to Sam cry his head off tonight), we once again attempt to break the vicious no-sleep cycle of Bo-Bo & his sidekick Sam.

Camping Down In Delta

Last weekend we decided to take advantage of the three day weekend and go camping for the first time this year. We didn't want to go far because of all the troubles we had trying to camp with Bo last year (him never sleeping and bouncing off the walls so bazerko it was both freaky and beyond frustrating to the point of us never making it through the night anytime we tried) so Delta Clearwater seemed perfect. Two hours away - close enough that we could come home if we needed to but far enough that we wouldn't give up too easily.

The plan was to stay one night and do whatever we had to do to get Bo to sleep. We also were unsure how Sam would do in a pack-n-play because he hadn't been in one for a long time so we were worried but cautiously optimistic that the trip would be a success.

And despite the first night of Sam puking in his crib, Bo not going to sleep until 11:30pm and then having a horrible night terror around 12:30 (kicking, screaming, thrashing side to side all while laying on the floor and refusing to let me get him back in bed), and thus waking Sam back up, we somehow decided to stay another night. Crazy, I know, but we were there, we were all packed, and we needed to get past this camping hurdle. Besides, we had so much fun playing Frisbee, fishing, digging in dirt piles, hanging out with friends, eating smores, and just being outside during the day, it was worth the struggles at night to have another day of fun.

Belly at 20 weeks

Wes and Bo in front with friends Kenny & Nathan in back - Bo was not a fan.

Bo's 1st Smore Not a fan! Preferred the chocolate and the marshmallows by themselves
Shredding it up on the soccer dirt

Oh and I can't forget the poop incident. The first morning Sam and I went out of the camper to walk Chena so she could pee. Bo wanted to stay in and watch us through the windows. No big deal, right? Wrong. When Sam & I rounded the front side of the camper (mind you we had been gone like 5 minutes max) we saw Bo peeping out of the little slide opening on the screen door and then immediately got pelted in the chest by a flying something. And yes, you guessed it. Poop. Flying poop. Bo was hurling poop at us. I about puked. Apparently he pooped, took off his diaper and then was throwing the turds out the window, all in a matter of minutes. Minutes, I tell you. Minutes. The boy is nuts!

But all in all we had a great time. It was a fun Memorial Day Weekend.

Quick Updates

Blackberry mess

1. Sam is doing much better sleeping through the night. About once a week he'll wake up crying in the middle of the night, but other than that he goes down around 7:30 or 8:00pm and sleeps until 6:00ish. I can tell he's not done sleeping, though, so I give him a bottle and more often than not he goes back to sleep until 7:30 or 8:00am. It's been really nice (especially since Bo didn't sleep through the night until he was almost 2 and still to this day, wakes up more nights than he doesn't) but now I need to break him of the 6:00am feeding because by golly I don't want to get up that early. 2. Bo has finally stopped constantly whining for a binky. Actually I don't think he has mentioned it at all in a few days. YAY!! But he is still fighting sleep and throwing temper tantrums every time he has to take a nap or go to bed. It's really frustrating and all started when we took his binky away.

Last night he was in bed by 9:00pm but up until after 11:00pm. At one point Wes & I were in bed watching tv when we noticed the living room light was one (no idea for how long). When we went in there, Bo was on the floor playing quietly with his race track. The kid hates to sleep and he by no means got this from me. I am not a night person at all. Thanks, Wes.

Showing us how fast he is

Sleep Re-Training

Sam was doing really well sleeping through the night for about a week before he got sick and it was wonderful. It took about a week and a half prior to that of letting him cry during the night to get to that point (which was hard, but worth it). Then when he got sick and didn't eat solid food a week and was one huge snot ball, I felt I had to feed him during the night or he might get dehydrated or starve or get more sick (just go with me on this one) or depressed from lack of comfort or hell, I don't know, I just felt like it was the motherly thing to do.

So now, he's feeling better and I am again sitting up in the middle of the night listening to him scream his head off. Do we really have to go through this all over again? And was I wrong for regressing to night time feedings while he was sick? Surely not, huh? I just hope he catches on quicker this time around. He's bound to remember, right? Right?!

Break Out The Champagne!

I put Sam down at 8:00pm as usual last night. He woke up about an hour later crying and crying. It was obvious he needed to burp so we burped him, put him back down and then he slept, get this, until 4:00am. 4:00am! That's a record and believe you me, my boobs could attest to it. I then nursed him and put him back to bed. He woke up at 5:30am with lots of burps since he was bombarded with gushing milk earlier and then he slept until 7:45 this morning. It was wonderful. Way to go Sam!

Sleep Update

Last night Sam went to bed at 7:45pm, was up crying at 11:15pm, I went in and rubbed his head for a minute, and I did not nurse him until he was up again at 12:45am. That's 5 hours. Woo-hoo!

I can't remember for the life of me what happened after that because for some reason, despite being exhausted, I could not fall asleep. It was like I was over tired. I don't know what my deal was. I finally took half a Valium at 2:00am, laid on the couch and eventually fell asleep somewhere between watching The O'Reily Factor and Fox & Friends.

What I do know is that I woke up with him on my chest on the couch this morning at 6:00am and put him in his crib. (Ooops. That can't help matters.) And he woke up for the day at 8:50am.

Not quite the ideal night by any means, but we're getting there.

Sam-1, Mommy-O

Yesterday I pulled out the "What to Expect the First Year" book for the first time since Sam was born. One look at it's warped pages and I quickly remembered how addicted to and reliant on, I was to it when Bo was little. I read it cover to cover and always had it near by to look up an occasional oddity or paranoia I was having at the time about why my child wasn't doing something or to diagnose what on earth the rash was all over his body. But apparently, with child number 2, comes a sense of calmness and a can-do attitude (or is it tiredness and passiveness?) Either way, I once again found solace in this book last night.

I read all about the sixth month and the developmental path Sam should be following. I looked up the introduction of solid foods and yes, I read the section on sleep. Everything from stopping nighttime feedings to how to get your child to sleep through the night. And it was weird. I already knew all of this information but at times it was as if I was reading it for the first time. The tactics were not new or anything that I hadn't already thought about but after reading it again I was inspired and motivated by this:

Cold turkey: For those parents desperate and determined to get that good night's sleep sooner rather than later, letting a baby cry it out almost always works. Though some recommend utilizing this method as early as three months, it's best to wait until baby's closer to six months. By that point, most babies no longer require nighttime nutrition breaks - unless they were born prematurely and are still catching up. And while a younger infant cries to communicate basic needs, older babies are becoming more sophisticated in their motivations. As long as crying results in being picked up, rocked, fed, they'll keep it up. When they find it no longer works, most will give up on nighttime crying usually within three to four nights.

If you're philosophically opposed to this approach, don't try it. Parenting that goes against parental instincts is rarely successful. Instead, provide your baby with a back-to-sleep crutch, such as sleep inducing music, a pacifier, a nursing - or anything else you choose - for as long as necessary, or move on the plan below.

And so, newly motivated and desperate for sleep, that was my plan last night. I would let him cry, not pick him up, soothe him by rubbing his head, and not nurse him at all. Here's how it went down:

8:00 - Put him in bed awake. Fell asleep shortly thereafter. No crying.
10:30 - I fell asleep.
11:00 - Sam's up crying. I went in to soothe according to plan.
11:05 - Nursed to top-him-off. (New modified plan: don't nurse until morning.)
11:30 - Back in crib asleep
1:30 - Up again crying & screaming. Waited 5 minutes before entering room.
1:35 - Went in, rubbed his head, turned on mobile. Waited 5 more minutes.
1:40 - Still crying. Went back in. Rubbed head. Did not nurse. (Yay for me!)
1:45 - He fell asleep.
3:00 - Up crying again!
3:01 - I went in & nursed him (Damn it! So much for the modified plan)
3:30 - Back in crib asleep
6:25 - Up fussing. I was determined to not go in. Sat at computer and blogged.
6:35 - Fuss turned to crying. I went in to soothe. More blogging followed.
6:45 - Still crying. I'm beat. I nursed him. (Plan aborted)
9:30 - Sam up for the day. (I'll try again tonight)

I Think I've Been Starving My Kid

We gave Sam his first solid food (other than rice cereal) last night and he devoured it. Every last drop of sweet potatoes was gone. There wasn't even an inkling of a splatter on his shirt. He ate it all!

And once again I have fallen suit to the second baby syndrome. Sorry Sam. With Bo, I was gung-ho and made all of this first foods. I made batches of sweet potatoes, carrots, and squash and froze them in tiny containers to thaw out when needed. This time, I went to the Commissary, stocked up on pre-packaged, pre-portioned organic baby food to pop open when needed. So much easier and so much quicker, but oh so much wasted plastic. Sorry Mother Earth.

But, I digress. Sam. Yes. The starving child. Holy cow. I feel guilty. Tough love isn't what he needed to sleep more at night. Food is what he needed.

He ate the sweet potatoes at about 7:00pm, I nursed him around 7:30, he was in bed at 8:00, fell asleep shortly thereafter, and did not wake up until 11:30pm. That's 3.5 hours folks. 3.5 hours. And it continued through the night. It was wonderful. I only had to get up and nurse him twice. I say that's PROGRESS!

So today, I am going to feed him and fill his belly and hope the 3.5 hours turns in to 4.

It's Time For Tough Love

We got back from Nebraska Monday night and are trying to get back in to the swing of things. I will write later about our trip and all that we did but right now I want to talk about Sam.

Sam will be 6 months old next week and is still up all the time at night. All. The. Time. Lately he's been up every 1-2 hours. It's been getting worse the past few months and is getting really old really fast. I partially blame him having a bad cold and being sick all of October, traveling, him getting his first tooth last week, and me always sticking him on the boob every time he wakes up, but something has got to be done.

We are traveling again in 3 weeks and it is my goal to have him broken from the nightly boobcapades by then. I am exhausted and want a normal night sleep. It won't be easy on any of us, I'm sure, but this is my vow to try.

I actually started last night by only feeding him if it had been over 3 hours. (How pathetic is that?!) The other times he woke up in between, which was many, I went in, rubbed his head for a minute, turned on his mobile and walked out. The longest he cried was 10 minutes so not bad. I was impressed.

And after doing this all night, he finally slept a 3 hour stretch from 3:30am-6:30am this morning. Yay. It's a start and I'll take it.

I am too much of a softy to cut out all feedings cold-turkey but I will get there. I will.

The Longest Sleepless Travel Day Ever

15 hours, 3 flights, 1 horribly long layover, 3 screaming fits, no sleep, plenty of Valium, and lots of patience later, we made it. Thank God!

I will update more later because, even though we have been here for 3 days, I am still severely exhausted (thanks to Sam not sleeping more than 2 hours in a row since we've been here) and can't think straight enough to write, but I will leave you with some funny Bo moments . . .

After we got our luggage off the belt once we got here, I dug into Bo's suitcase to find his coat. One glance inside and his eyebrows completely furrowed. "What happened? Where toys?"

The first morning we were here, Bo woke up and came out into the living room which is floor to ceiling windows, looked up at Grandma and asked, "What's this light?" (Poor deprived Alaskan kid.)

Sleep Issues

I have no idea what's going on but Sam's sleep schedule is getting more and more screwed up. He's never been a great sleeper at night but nothing like this. He is 5 months old and is suddenly getting his days and nights mixed up. It sucks and I blame where we live. Damn Alaskan darkness! I need the sun (and a margarita)!

Lately Sam has been waking up every 1 to 2 hours during the night, and yes, I am feeding him each time, or "sticking him on the boob" is more like it, which I know I shouldn't do, but he's been sick and I feel bad making him cry when he's already all stuffed up. And you do the math. Up every 1 to 2 hours, all night, means I am up ALL THE FREAKIN TIME. Oh, but then he sleeps a 3 to 4 hour stretch starting at 6:00am. Uggh. So frustrating. I don't get it.

Last night I was all excited because he fell asleep about 8:30 and I put him in his crib for the night. 45 minutes later he was up and didn't go back to sleep until well after midnight! So, this morning I went in his room at about 8:15 and turned on his light to force the poor guy in to knowing that it's day time and that he needs to get up because the last thing I want to do is be up with him until midnight again tonight. I need to sleep sometime.

Today I even skipped FAME to allow him to take a morning nap. He slept for about 2 hours from 9:30-11:30 and then is down again now, 2:30ish, for an afternoon nap so I am hoping (despite hating the fact that I skipped my workout to do so) that with a more regulated schedule of naps, and night and day (well pseudo-fake-simulated-day), things will get better. They just have to. They do! Right?

Sleep or no sleep, he is still a cutie and I love him . . .

It's 1:00am

So it's almost 1:00am and I'm sitting up waiting for Sam to go back down. He woke up about 30 minutes ago, I nursed him and put him back in his crib but he's in there making some weird half whining-half grunting noises that I can't sleep through because there's nothing more I hate then to crawl back in bed to only have to get right back up again.

I knew I should have put him back on his stomach. Ugghh. Why didn't I? He hates sleeping on his back.

I already took some Sudafed, an 800mg Motrin, drank a glass of water, had a few bites of a bagel, blew my nose a few times, went to the bathroom, tried to inhale some Eucalyptus oil to open my sinuses (did not work) and put on some chapstick, so now, here I sit, blogging when I should be sleeping, with my head about to explode and my left ear making weird squeaky noises.

Oh, and there it is, the grunting has now turned into more of a cry. I knew it would. I guess I better go, and this time I'm definitely putting him down on his tummy.

Night Night for now.

On The Mend

It looks like we're all going to come out of this yet. Bo is back to his normal self and after just 2 days of antibiotics Sam is already breathing much better which made him sleep better last night which let me get 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep (instead of 1.5) at a time which made me feel better this morning.

It's crazy to me how getting 3 hours, 3 hours, and then 2.5 hours of sleep at a time feels so amazing when pre-kids this would have been hell. But oh, it felt great last night. I actually felt a little rested this morning when Bo woke me up at 7:30. I just hope it continues to get better. Poor Sam really has had a go of it and I'm sure he's ready for some better sleep, because I know I am.