Reading In The Oven

So damn cute!!

Tooth Fairy Time

Hard to believe he's already old enough to lose his teeth but apparently he is.   Where did my little baby go?

And the funny part is that we only realized it was loose 2 days before it fell out.  He got off way too easy as far as I'm concerned (no pliers, or trouble eating, or threats to tie it to a doorknob) but I guess that's what happens when you try to bite your brother with a loose tooth. 

WTF?!

 How the hell does a 2 year old lift a mattress?!  If he didn't want to take a nap, he should have just told me. 

Wiener Wars

I have always known that men love their penises.  Nothing new there.  It's a toy.  It's a compass.  It's a measuring stick.  Whatever.  Why wouldn't they love them?  It's like a built in Swiss army knife with a life time warranty that they can never misplace.   It's perfect.

I just had no idea the fixation and fascination started so damn young. 

I suppose it was inevitable raising three boys but I guess I really never gave it much thought until recently.  I feel like I am the penis police at a freak show.  Bo can not keep his hands off of his.  Every time I turn around, his hands are down his pants doing lord knows what.  And now that Sam is fresh out of diapers, his is a whole new adventure for him.  He likes to run around naked and show everyone how big it is. 

Then there's the Wiener Wars.  Yep.  The highly disturbing, highly competitive sport of wiener wrestling.  Basically it's arm wresting for penises.  I am not an advocate or sponsor, but unfortunately have been a spectator and let me tell you, it is not pretty.  Actually I wish I could erase it from my memory bank, but instead, I figure I'd just write about it so Bo and Sam can read this when they are all grown up and see what they put me through as kids. 

As the penis police I try to enforce the house rules much like that in the outside world with 'indecent exposure' and 'playing with oneself' a punishable offense if in public spaces but ok in the confines of ones room or the bathroom. 

However my duties go well beyond that of law enforcement.  I am also the penis professor.  Just last night Bo asked me in all seriousness, "Mom, what is the part of your wiener, not the big tank part, but the part down below with the 2 dots?  Is that where the juice comes from?" 

WHAT?!?  The juice?  WTF is he talking about? 

I just bit my lip, told him to ask Dad and then laughed at him behind his back. Sorry Bo, but really?  Juice?  I'm still confused.   However, kudos on calling it "the tank".  Nice one. 

 

Sammy-Says #2

In the Anchorage airport after going poop in the potty, which is a fairly new phenomenon for him:

SAM:  Look, there's 2.  They're like pickles!!

Santa!! HO HO HO!

We made our annual trek to North Pole this week to see Santa and Max was so excited.  He kept saying, "me see Santa" over and over and over.  He was all about sitting on Santa's lap and loved it. 

 It was only 4 days until Christmas but I'm pretty sure with detailed picture lists like Bo took, Santa's got him covered.

Sam on the other hand wanted nothing to do with Santa's lap but finally warmed up enough to give him knucks.

The rest of us were there too

Merry Sugar-mas To All And To All A Good Night!

It's that time of year again when everything with sugar in it some how becomes "ok" because it's Christmas.   No wonder America is obese.  Oh, it's December?  Sure.   I'll have that sample of peppermint mocha with whip cream and cute chocolate drizzle on top.  And hey, because dropping of this package at the post office was so tough, I'll most definitely take a piece of holiday chocolate.  Oh wait, it's taking too long, I better take 2.  And thanks Wells Fargo for the cute bag of red and green m&m's you sent to me in the drive through tube.  I'll be sure to add it to the other three trillion calories sitting on my hips right now. 

Seriously?  Who thinks like that?!  

Not me. Thank God.  I just say no thank you and walk away but when it comes to my kids, I'm much more fun and much more Decembery.  

So in the spirit of Christmas and the spirit of sugar, I once again tackled graham cracker houses with the boys this year.   I really have absolutely no idea why gingerbread houses are even considered Christmasy (I probably should google that) but they are fun, always make a mess and taste yummy yummy. 

Although, I don't remember them being nearly as difficult last year.  I don't know if it was the icing I bought or my lack of construction skills, but mine kept caving in.  My plan was to built ones for Sam and Max and then let them decorate them but because I took way too long to build anything that stood up, Sam's attention span was long gone as were fist fulls of jelly beans and about 1/4 of his icing jar.  I'm still surprised he didn't puke. 

But Bo stuck with it and really worked hard.  He got frustrated a few times but did a great job and did it ALL by himself.  He kept asking me if he could lick his fingers or did he have to use a napkin (so cute).  He also chose to put candy he got from school on his even though he knew it meant not eating them. 

He calls his a Lean-To with Chimneys and a Fence

When Wes got home Bo was all excited to show him what he built and Wes said, "Oh no, it fell over".  (Oops.  Way to go Dad.) 

And here is Sam's.  Yes, I know its lame but it's all I could get to stand up.  And for what he had to work with, I think he did a fantastic job. 

 This is the one I constructed for Max that became the community project.  Everyone did a little. 

It was fun, we made a mess like usual and now we have 3 tacky sugar houses sitting on the counter taking up room that I don't have either the heart to throw away or the stomach to eat.  Man I love December!